I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
