Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
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