just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
