she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
