sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
