No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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