My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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