i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
