he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
