I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
