I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
