i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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