called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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