New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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