so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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