I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
