I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
