I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
