do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
