i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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