WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
