? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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