I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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