No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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