Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
