my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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