He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize