I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
