Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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