Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
