3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
