I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
