god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
