I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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