Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
