It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
