My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
