too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
