the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
