i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
