how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
