"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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