I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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