I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
