Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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