Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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