You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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