Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
