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• (616): View more from Michigan

  If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

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• (510): View more from California

  no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the stuff legends are made of

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm not well. Although it could be worse.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.

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