I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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