i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
