I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
