I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
