So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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