Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
