It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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