we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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