careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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