Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
