A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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