i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize