the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
