Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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